You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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