im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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