So drunk its hurt
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
