Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it's great music for shaving your balls
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
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She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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