forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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