Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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