I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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