im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
