how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
