After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
