So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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