I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
