franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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