Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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