You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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