so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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