Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do you have feelings for this penis?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
