I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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