I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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