Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize