Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
