so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
