I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
