oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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