Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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