in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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