Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
its not stalking. its research.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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