You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just gift wrapped bread.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
