haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
