Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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