I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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