Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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