our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
