remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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