they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I could fuck to npr.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
