thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
