it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize