he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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