Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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