so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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