Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
