I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
