Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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