Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
