he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
