and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize