only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
