Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I will pee on everything he values.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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