That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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