Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize