i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
