all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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