; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
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I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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