is your mom at the bar?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
babies were throwing up all over the place
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
