opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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