"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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