No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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