I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
