You're so nebulous sometimes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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