I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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