I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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